It's amazing how quickly time passes. It has been well over a month since my last post! In that time, we've replaced all of our floors, had our deck and play set stained, organized the garage, chopped off my hair, gone on vacation...CHOPPED off my HAIR...
Yes it's true. I finally did it! The hair is gone and with it are all the beliefs that kept me in bondage for so long. Well, at least they're mostly gone. The roots are certainly deep and so more truthfully said, the hair cutting ceremony marks the beginning of a journey of letting go.
For several days after the hair cut, I looked at myself in the mirror and though I expected to see someone else, I was still me. At the same time I was also a different version of me. It has been a moment by moment process of questioning and accepting, fearing and doubting, hoping and embracing. I truly feel like I am moving in a direction of a me set free but damn is it painful at times. The fear is so powerful. The hope is so risky. But the freedom is undoubtedly necessary.
After all, God didn't create me to be someone else. God didn't create me to fit into molds crafted by others' expectations. God didn't create me to be anything else but me. And so me, I shall be.
Eventually.
_And also, dear God, please help me to raise my daughter in an environment where cutting her hair or not cutting her is just not this big of a deal. That is all. xx_
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